New beginnings

I have let go of writing a lot. It’s been my personal yo-yo to toy with as I see fit. I’ve struggled with a lot in my life, and personally being kind to myself falls on the list of struggles I have had to endure. I decided to give myself a fresh start, which is exasperatingly frightening but exciting in the same breath. I’ve never allowed myself enough forgiveness for one of those. I’ve never allotted true forgiveness to anyone or anything really. It opens up the possibility for hurt and pain to come back into my life, and it forces me to be vulnerable. This includes the ability to be consistent with my passions, and writing is one of them for me. It gives me an escape, a way to channel the thoughts in my own head. It’s the vehicle that gets me to the glowing red exit sign that everyone who has mental illness dreams about, even if only for a moment. It’s where I can let out exactly what my brain is throwing at me, and from every angle it comes from. No one in my life understands the angles like my notebook has been able to. I have been going through a lot, and am continuing the evolution process that we as human beings tend to go through many times within our lifetimes. With this being said, I have decided to start anew on this blog. I want to write, and write consistently for thirty days. If I can do that, then at thirty days I will double it. If I can make it to 90 days, I will have created a habit. This is something I have to do for myself, because I truly miss writing. I miss the writing community too.

WordPress surely has changed though. I’m sure it will take me a little bit to get used to all the new settings not only on my laptop, but on my mobile device as well. The simple days, I truly do miss those sometimes.




8 Replies to “New beginnings”

  1. Welcome back to writing! I myself have found much healing here. My posts have let me breathe a little softer. I get the whole forgiveness thing. Often times we are only holding ourlseves prisoner when we can’t forgive. It is often those that never ask for it that we have to struggle to forgive for ourselves to be set free. I am far pasting living the hard life, been there. I am so tired of the rough road. Hoping my life is resuming calm. I hope you can find you way, and you. At 43 I am still learning who I am. I have a lot of fun here too. That feels good. Amougst my followers there has been fun conversations. Best to you as you begin new! Best thing I ever did at 40!! Thanks for sharing, good write. Lisa

    1. Thank you Lisa! I’m tired of being tired, and I’m tired of fighting my head every breathing moment. Writing gives me a healthy outlet. It’s one of probably many keys to shackles I put on myself, that’s the saddening part.

      1. You have no idea how much I get exactly that!! Keep on keeping on. Baby steps, or even crawl. Forward movement. Don’t stop, or go backwards! That is the story of my life. I am so tired, and have a longing to find my rest. It may not be until the day I die. For I am living story that I am to tell, and it is not yet to do finished!! I am in the Happily ever after, with helping the others wounded along the way get here with me. Life is exhausting! Just smile, and break free from your bondage, set yourself free & BE!! Blessings dear weary one!! πŸ’—

      2. A welcome change from lonely emptiness, a relating heart. My scars are the words on the pages of the bleeding book that is my life. I have to go forward, because backwards tears the scars open and reveals the fresh pain and destruction that is the dark parts of my mind.

        My happily ever after is the smile in the mirror, and the embrace of big and little arms at the end of the day. Life truly is the exhausting masterpiece we make it.

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